move

i’ll be posting on http://selfishpoetry.wordpress.com/ from now on.

patience

“I can’t tolerate your sadness..
cuz it’s me you are drowning…
I won’t allow any happiness…
cuz everytime you laugh… I feel so… guilty…
I FEEL SO GUILTY….”

- Only For The Weak – In Flames [Clay Man] (2000)

 my day is done..
i can’t wait to see the sunshine…

 

breastfed

“With One Hand High…
You Show Them Your Progress…
You Take Your Time…
But NoOne Cares…….”

- My Sundown – Jimmy Eat World [Bleed American] (2001)

day after day
i feel more away

i just wonder… what made me end up this way ; my creation , is it a big mistake? is it a breakpoint? or it’s a neutral fact that only serves history? is it finished or yet going to begin? and regardless of the phase, is it going anywhere?

as i faced the truth, that these could be the questions the whole human race were asking through their existence; i thought i would be overwhelmed by the fact that i am not alone. in fact i felt more empty.. for not only what i’d found was nothing new, but knowing that all those generations somehow managed to get over the senselessness , left me in a haze ..

if there are different answers, can we assume that the question’s wrong? when you can’t really prove any answers wrong, is there a possibility that your question is not a question? let me say.. like u pull a needle out of a haystack, if you have a box of needles, does it make sense to find a needle? although needles are different, any single one of them would satisfy your quest ( as long as it is finding a needle ) ..

maybe our instinct lies to us.. maybe there is nothing to find.. maybe existence was never meant to continue.. or even exist.. and most probably if someday, we agreed that there’s no reason, it wouldn’t…………..

cancer

“oh shed a tear for the loss..
of innocense..
for the forsaken spirits ..
who aches..
in us..

cry for the heart that surrenders to pain……..
for the solitude of those….

LEFT….

BEHIND….”

- Death, Come near me – Draconian [Arcane Rain Fell] (2005)

my friend died today

i know i cant go to the funeral

it’s hard to cry

let them say he was g0od

let them say he was perfect

they dont know how nice he was, they just say it

they must say something when u’re gone

 

sorry, i wont come to  your funeral;
i’ll bury u in my heart
not in the filthy hands of earth..

 

humanity

there’s nothing sinful in sins, if you’re not sharing them.

Lead

“I want you to lead me..
Take me somewhere..
Don’t want to live, in a dream, one more day…”

– Come Clarity – In Flames [Come Clarity] (2006)

 

days come and go..
people never come, they just go..

i feel like a junkie whenever there’s a need to change. when a habit is burned to your brain cells , it’s almost impossible to get rid of; not to mention the new stuff you want to replace it with.

i used to believe nothing in the world can stop me. now i’ve found an exception:
only “I” can stop “me”.

miss u

“some times i get the feeling, she’s watching over me..
and other times i feel like i should go…..
when through it all the rise and fall, the bodies in the street..
and when you’re gone we want you all to know..
we’ll carry on..”

Welcome To The Black Parade – My Chemical Romance [The Black Parade] (2006)

it’ll be a lonely world, without u.
it’s amazing how much i miss u already..

daddy believes u can forget ppl u love ;
made me cry, the first time i heard him..
i almost hated him, but now i know it’s part of being a man.
the thing i never wanted to be.
so i got to start hating myself….

Home sweet hell..

yep, I’m back. ten days (i guess) in turkey and it feels like vacation here, back home.. man.. i missed nothing , everything’s the same except for the traffic.. i dont know were the hell all these cars came from..

god save the small children..

same boring town . i don even look forward to seeing my friends .. i’ve got to0 much in my head.. donno what i’m going to do.. in 6 months my life could be completely different and sure i’m not ready for anything.

po0ff, it’s crazy.. first day home , two classes , to quizes , one messed, one okay.. vo0 wednsday , thursday , friday .. home.. i’ve got so much time… god i’d loved to go for a run tomorrow, but i’m probably too lazy for that..

it’s confusing.. it really is.. so much more than a glimpse of the world outside..

Home, my sweet hell!

Summer’s End

A perfect girl passed..

With a perfect smile…

I couldn’t help but lo0k away..

To control the beating of my heart..